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Monday, December 6, 2010

Unfortunately, it's back...

I'm sure you all have missed me, so I'm coming out of retirement for a moment.

Jess and I had the great fortune to watch "Roadhouse" and "Fast & Furious" a few weeks back. Whenever I watch movies like this, I make random comments to Jess about how much I love revenge pictures. (A revenge picture is any movie where the hero has to avenge some past misdeed, which is sometimes even his own fault. There are revenge pictures where a cop's wife gets killed by the criminal he couldn't catch, the cop's partner gets killed because he was too much of a baby to pull the trigger or someone in his family dies via random violence. No matter the origin, I love the result.) It usually involves someone deciding that they are going to play by their own rules, not care about any consequences and take down the bad guy. I honestly cannot get enough of this stuff.

I also love any heist picture. To steal a Carolla idea, someone needs to make a "second to last job" heist movie, since when they say it's there last job disaster ensues. But it's always exciting to watch the preparation for the robbery. I wish there was some trade school I could go to so I could learn to be a "second story man." Those guys are always sweet.

Finally, any movie where the hero is chosen by a random authority figure because they needed the "best" is always cinematic magic. Whether it's the best bouncer, driver, thief, etc., it's always a good thing. Just once in my life I want to have this exchange:

Boss: Gregg, I need you for this project.
Gregg: Why me?
Boss: (puts down coffee mug, looks down for a beat, then raises his head) Because you're the best. That's why.

Sadly, that would probably be the highlight of my life.

I can't possibly be alone in loving revenge/heist/you're the best pictures. So I can't understand why there isn't a new one coming out once a week. I wouldn't dare miss one of them, as my recent purchase of The Expendables on Blu-Ray can attest.

Random recollection of the week: I was complaining to my friend Katie about how bananas have the worst shelf life of any fruit and seemingly go from too green, to bruised in moments. She changed my life and shopping habits by telling me to buy various stages of green bananas from separate bunches so they don't all age at the same pace. This blew my mind. How has it never occurred to me to do that? Do other people know about this? It just makes me think about all the things in the world that I don't know about that would probably improve the quality of my life immensely.

Since it's New Years, I guess I should have some resolutions. In no particular order:
stick with my new diet and workout plan, continue to watch as many corny action movies as possible and to write more regularly. (I have no great intention of fulfilling one of these; feel free to guess which one).

Until next time, Mahalo!