I am really excited today for a couple reasons. First, my daughter is only days away from her big debut. More importantly, I finally saw the new Certain Dri commercial in its entirety. I still cannot find a video of it and you can rest assured that I will post it as soon as I do.
The set up for the newest commercial features another attractive blonde talking to the camera about her sweating problems. But lucky for her, she's dating a doctor (shocker) and he suggested she use Certain Dri. Then our buddy, the profusely sweaty doc, comes on camera and puts his arm around her. And scene.
From my summary, you can obviously tell it's a pretty magical commercial. A couple of thoughts:
1. What's up with sweaty doc always being with sweaty girls? Does he have some crazy fetish for profuse sweating?
2. Why is blonde girl so excited about dating the sweaty doc, when we all know he's a sexual deviant based upon the last commercial?
3. Finally, why would sweaty doc think it's a good plan to put his arm (which we all know contains uncontrollable sweat glands) around this girl's neck. He's just playing with fire, consequences be damned.
My ultimate goal in life is to have a lunch with the actor who plays sweaty doc and the twin brunettes from Saved by the Bell that were always randomly in the background but only spoke 2 times. That would be a meal for the ages.
Until next time...
Friday, July 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Birthing classes...
It's been awhile. But unlike the other occasions when I don't write, this time I have a good reason. You see, I've now been to birthing classes and my life will never be the same.
The first class we had was a 3 hour course on breastfeeding. I wasn't really worried about the breastfeeding class since it seemed to be the least dangerous class in the mix. However, at dinner with friends who had just taken the class, I learned that a featured section of the course was talk of inverted nipples. I couldn't stop laughing about it and coming up with embarrassing questions to ask the instructor.
"So, hypothetically, if my wife, we'll call her 'Messica' had inverted nipples, what could I do to un-invert them? Would ice cubes help?" (Then I would look over at Jess and say "don't worry, no one will ever know that is about you," in a voice that can be heard across the room and wink).
I figured that my stupid hypotheticals would be enough to prepare me for the nipple type discussion, but I was wrong. No one told me that each couple would be given stuffed breasts as exemplars. Not only that, but the stuffed breasts had strings in the back that you could pull to simulate the various types of nipples. Well friends, that pushed me over the top. I started laughing and there was no hope of stopping. I had to look down, try to hold my breath and hang on for dear life so my laughter didn't lead to me getting kicked out of the house. I managed to stifle the laughs. Frankly I was really disappointed in the rest of the guys in the class for not laughing with me. What a bunch of punks.
I knew going in that the birth class was going to be terrible and was preparing myself. What I didn't know was that the video of the birth was taken at a natural birthing center. All the sudden, crazy water births, squatting births and hippie chicks with untamed private areas were all in play. And that is exactly what I had the joy of witnessing. Thankfully the video was short, but not short enough for my taste since I still had to see a weird lady touching her baby's head while the child was still in the birth canal.
I am just a few weeks away from experiencing the birth of my child. I am really just ready to meet her at this point. But I will still wait for her to be fully on the outside before I touch her head.
Until next time, Mahalo.
The first class we had was a 3 hour course on breastfeeding. I wasn't really worried about the breastfeeding class since it seemed to be the least dangerous class in the mix. However, at dinner with friends who had just taken the class, I learned that a featured section of the course was talk of inverted nipples. I couldn't stop laughing about it and coming up with embarrassing questions to ask the instructor.
"So, hypothetically, if my wife, we'll call her 'Messica' had inverted nipples, what could I do to un-invert them? Would ice cubes help?" (Then I would look over at Jess and say "don't worry, no one will ever know that is about you," in a voice that can be heard across the room and wink).
I figured that my stupid hypotheticals would be enough to prepare me for the nipple type discussion, but I was wrong. No one told me that each couple would be given stuffed breasts as exemplars. Not only that, but the stuffed breasts had strings in the back that you could pull to simulate the various types of nipples. Well friends, that pushed me over the top. I started laughing and there was no hope of stopping. I had to look down, try to hold my breath and hang on for dear life so my laughter didn't lead to me getting kicked out of the house. I managed to stifle the laughs. Frankly I was really disappointed in the rest of the guys in the class for not laughing with me. What a bunch of punks.
I knew going in that the birth class was going to be terrible and was preparing myself. What I didn't know was that the video of the birth was taken at a natural birthing center. All the sudden, crazy water births, squatting births and hippie chicks with untamed private areas were all in play. And that is exactly what I had the joy of witnessing. Thankfully the video was short, but not short enough for my taste since I still had to see a weird lady touching her baby's head while the child was still in the birth canal.
I am just a few weeks away from experiencing the birth of my child. I am really just ready to meet her at this point. But I will still wait for her to be fully on the outside before I touch her head.
Until next time, Mahalo.
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