For some reason I have been thinking about time travel a lot lately. It could be because of my DeLorean key chain. But I think the real reason is that I read a Chuck Klosterman essay where he talked about time machines. The most interesting part to me was Chuck talking about the possibility of a telephone to the past where you could talk to your past self for 15 seconds. I have been thinking about what I would say to my 15 year old self if given 15 seconds. Here goes:
Present Gregg: Gregg, this is future you. Write this down...
Past Gregg: I'm confused, if you are from the future, then this already happened and I don't remember it, so it didn't really happen. And if this call really did happen, then it doesn't matter what I do, since it is already done. If this was really me in the future, I've probably seen Back to the Future Part II 30 times by now and know you are going to give me sports results like Biff.
Present Gregg: Shut up. we're running out of time...
On second thought, revised plan:
Present Gregg: Gregg, this is future you, be quiet and write this down:
Men's Hoops, start in 94 Arkansas, UCLA, Kentucky, Zona, Kentucky, UConn, Mich State, Duke, Maryland, Cuse, Uconn, UNC, Florida twice, KU, UNC. Bet big. Invest in Google, huge.
And your wife is hot.
To me this seems like the perfect information to give my past self. I give myself sure fire winners so I can make some money, while simultaneously letting my future self know that my future wife is hot. That way, I can live my life unencoumbered by concerns about my future since I already know I'm rich with a hot wife. That's a Michael Scott Win/Win/Win situation.
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Love it!
ReplyDeleteYour 15 year old self would have probably been thrilled to see your beard--should have kept that for him.
Just stumbled on to your blog. A year without saying anything about Carolla would be tough for me. My blog would be your wife's worst nightmare and your best friend. Hang in there, only 45 days to go! By the way, my past self would laugh at my present self goofing around on the computer playing around with "web-logs".
ReplyDeleteMahalo, love your site. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteACG here.... the return of your blog has, I'm sure, assisted in something wonderful for me....the return of work. That's right - shortly after you revived your work (or some deity's work?), I received a job offer....coincidence??? I think not..... Happy New Year to you and Jessica - and thanks for all the great posts that kept me smiling the last year - seriously! A Festivus miracle for sure.
ReplyDeleteAnon Cdn Girl