Actual Carolla Talk

I know you have all been missing my Carolla talk. At least I hope at least some of you have. I've decided to return to my roots on this blog and start writing about the magic of Ace once more. Sure, it will cause some marital strain, but she knew what she was getting into by marrying me.

One of the recent highlights of Ace's podcast was his story about his wife's obsession with Bruce Springsteen. Ace is constantly complaining that his wife doesn't cook, sew, clean, etc., and he has a plan to change all that. He wants to pay Bruce a huge amount of money to do one of his long winded song intros and talk about how he had a girlfriend that didn't do any cooking or sewing and how it was the reason they broke up. Bruce then should encourage all the ladies in the audience to make sure they take care of their man by performing those tasks. (Then Bruce goes into the song, 2, 3, 4). Ace is convinced that his wife would immediately run to the store to buy a sewing machine. This is just inspired stuff. I'm thinking that I need to convince the writer of a certain series of novels involving teenage vampires to do the same thing for Jess. If this writer of a series of books involving the forbidden love of a human and a vampire, who shall remain nameless, could include passages about how cooking for your husband is the ultimate expression of love, I'm pretty sure Jess would do it. You see dear reader(s?), Jessica "allegedly" enjoyed the 4 part series of the supernatural teenager and his human girlfriend, which again, must remain anonymous, so much that if I just typed up some pages and glued them into one of the books, she would be so enthralled she may not even notice. I'll work on the some passages to add to the book and report back with the results.

Jerry O'Connell was a recent guest on the show. Jerry is the kind of guy that every guy is trained to hate from an early age. He's funny, good looking, reasonably talented and most of all sleeps next to her. My natural instinct is to call him, in the words of Dameshek, JERK! (laser sounds). But I just can't hate the guy. Well done good sir is all that can be said.

Until next time, Mahalo!