100 Days down... easy money

It's been 100 days. Obviously it has been a test to not speak of Carolla's genius in my own home. I think it has been even harder for Jessica to not have the joy of Carolla everyday. Fortunately for her, the self imposed Carolla ban is almost over. Too bad for her that means I will be $1000 richer.

Before I get to my thoughts on Bill Simmons appearance, there is a new poll inspired by ACG's request. The contestants are our favorite Philly socialite Arthur Kade, the original internet douche John Fitzgerald Page, John Mayer and Jessica herself for her disdain of all things Ace. For anyone that is not familiar with JFP, please go visit his website. He takes ridiculousness to unprecedented levels. And he is completely serious. So, vote early and often and lets settle who the biggest doucher is once and for all.

Ace is famous for beginning broadcasts by saying, "Get it on. Must get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate: Get it on." Very apropos for his podcast with Simmons. (Mom, it's time to stop reading). For whatever reason, Simmons decided it was time to talk about porn, specifically, um.... fluid??? This led them to talk about which is worse, a scene with copious amounts of... fluid that is clearly fake.(Ace had a great line; "By the 8th salvo you are just insulting my intelligence) Or a scene with actual fluid. They both seemed to think that the real was better. They both have daughters and I think they should have said that they would rather kill themselves than choose. That did lead to an interesting discussion about what is the worst possible job for your daughter. Ace posed the following hypothetical to Simmons:
Your daughter is going to work at a topless only, no lap dance strip club. She can either:
a. be a stripper
b. be a slightly overweight girl who cleans the pole.

For some reason Simmons chose the stripper. Shocking. But it is an interesting question. I feel that I will have failed as a father if my daughter has any job that involves taking anything off, includes french fries, requires a stage name or has recently been given a churched up name (custodial engineer v. janitor). Ace is fond of saying that you can't really screw up boys too much since they just want to keep to themselves and be left alone. But with girls, you have to be careful. If you aren't a good dad, the girl will turn into a demon and ruin your life.

(Alright mom, it's safe to return)
Someone asked me today if I had Ace driver covers for my golf clubs. I wish! So, if someone out there likes knitting things, keep the Ace driver covers in mind for any gift baskets you send me.

Jessica is forcing me to watch So You Think You Can Dance right now. Bad times at the house. Currently two people in pajamas are dancing to a Richard Marx song. But I did have another Ace moment. One of the choreagraphers is named Mandy Moore. No, not that Mandy Moore. It reminded me of a game Ace used to play about people with the same name. I am not sure the Mandy Moore on SYTYCD and my former crush Mandy Moore could be more different. Once again, the Ace ban is robbing Jessica of great conversation.

Until next time, Mahalo!