My first post: Day 2

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my quest to win an absurd bet with my fiance, Jessica. Apparently I talk about Adam Carolla's radio show (R.I.P.) and new podcast too often. I can't help it that I think he is hilarious or that his views make a lot of sense. On March 2, 2009, Jessica declared she would pay me $1000 if I did not talk about Carolla to her for an entire year. This includes, but is not limited to: listening to him in the car in her prescence, watching his movie, The Hammer when she is home, commenting on anything he said on his podcast (Jessica cringes whenever she hears, "Adam said the funniest thing today...) or reciting any of his theories as my own. At first I thought of befriending some guy named Adam, then pretending to talk about him, when I am really talking about Ace. That plan is doomed to fail. I can write about it and not lose the bet, which is why both of you are reading this. The way I figure it, this blog will either help me not talk about Ace for a year, and win $1000. Or Ace himself will somehow find the blog, and I will get to meet him, in which case winning the bet becomes moot, since I would gladly trade the $1000 to meet Ace.

I guess I should start with a little background. I was never a real big fan of Adam. That all changed on a family cruise in December 2007. My brother Jonathan starting talking about the show and how hilarious it was. It started innocously enough. Jonathan called me a J.O. For some reason, I couldn't stop laughing. He began to tell me more and more stories and Carolla theories. I was hooked immediately. Pretty soon I was downloading his radio show every day. Before I knew it, I was bringing up the show in casual coversation, reciting his opinions as my own and driving Jessica insane. For the love of all that is holy, I even watched Dancing with the Stars because of him.

Jessica is not alone in her annoyance. Many of my co-workers are fed up with my constant references to Carolla. My friend Katie even offered to make the same bet with me, but I can't possibly not talk about it at home and work. That would be madness.

Now, I am on a journey to defeat Jessica and win my $1000. I will be using this space to share the hilarious wisdom of Adam for the day, or talk about anything else that I think is funny. My chances of success are slight, but my resolve is strong. With your help dear reader(s), I will win this bet. In the words of Jessica's beloved Barry Obama, "Yes we can." (by the way, Barry is clearly the worst first name in Presidential history, right?).

Since I have nothing to add about Adam right now, time for a bank story: Jessica gives me a check monthly for her half of the bills. She generally writes goofy messages in the memo section of the check. In honor of our bet, she wrote, "1 down, 364 to go," on the most recent check. I went to the bank to deposit the check and got questioned by the teller as to the meaning of the memo. First, I find this very odd. There is 0 reason for the teller to do anything but verify the amount. Second, why did he risk even asking me about it. What if I had some terrifying story explaining it? Again my lack of cleverness became a severe handicap in this moment as I was left with nothing witty to say in response. The whole exchange left me a little confused, and certainly not looking forward to my next trip to the bank. Shortly after my bank trip, I horrified some woman in front of me when she overheard my comment that something (I cannot remember what) was the gayest thing in history that did not involve 2 dudes with their pants down. She did not appreciate my analogy. (Dear readers, I promise future entires will approximate something funny or entertaining. Or at least a link to a Journey video).

Melissa, I appreciate you reading this. Hopefully future entries will be much funnier. For now, 2 days down, 363 to go.

In the words of Ace Carolla, Mahalo!