Mission Accomplished

Thank you all for sending Jessica messages today. She claims she didn't read them, but I find that hard to believe. Either way, I am quite pleased.

Ace had Dave Dameshek as his guest and it was amazing. For those of you unfamiliar with Dameshek, I suggest you become familiar as soon as possible. He is hilarious and has a great show on ESPN radio. His latest ongoing project is what he refers to as "Land of the Fox" which is an project to get all the foxiest ladies in the world in the same country. Dameshek is the ruler of the Land of the Fox and gets to decide who is in and who's out. But since Dameshek is a benevolent ruler, he does allow residents of the Shek Republic to vote on inclusion. The latest vote is for Frieda Pinto or Tina Fey. Really? This is even a contest? Tina's appeal has more to do with her being funny. Hopefully the Shek Republic will respond properly and allow Frieda into the Land of the Fox.

I have only just begun the podcast and I already have a lot to say about it. One thing I would definitely want to talk to Jessica about was the conversation about names for kids. Dameshek thinks it is key to give your kid a cool name, but to be cautious since the name will accentuate whatever trait the kid has already. So if your kid is nerdy and has a strong name, he will be nerdier. But the upside is that if your kid is a great athlete and his name is strong, he will be the coolest kid in town. I have long petitioned Jessica that we need to name a son Holden. Holden is an awesome name that will either make or break a kid. I am not sure when I will tell him where his name comes from, considering its dubious origin, but hopefully he will turn out cool, athletic and smart. Let's all hope that Jessica's genetics win out (save for her ridiculous taste in podcast comedy).

This also dovetails nicely with my longstanding theory that certain names make women more attractive, especially any name that can also be a boys name. (Similar to my theory about a woman's job making her more attractive; see earlier posts). So, if we have a daughter, I am going to call her Eleanor for the first 25 years of her life so dudes will leave her alone, then let her go by another name later. It is a weird paradox for men with girls: you obviously want your daughter to be pretty, but if she is really pretty early on you are going to have to put up with a bunch of dudes hanging around. No one wants that. Especially if the dudes are like these guys.

Ace shared his theory on plastic surgery, which was amazing. His basic point is that people shouldn't try to go from 65 to 38. That's just not realistic and the 65 year old always ends up looking terrible. The 65 year old should really shoot for looking around 52, which would just leave them looking good for their age. Ace ranted about the old guys using tons of Grecian Formula on their hair, which makes it look like an oil slick. For whatever reason, anytime Ace talks about Grecian Formula I laugh like an idiot. There was plenty of Grecian Formula talk so I was delighted.

Aside from the plastic surgery, Ace and Dameshek talked about how woman wear giant necklaces and the bigger the necklace, the older the lady. Ace has always maintained that women dress up just to impress other women, which I agree with. Guys couldn't care less about giant jewelry, what kind of shoes you wear or what your handbag looks like. I never understand why women put so much emphasis on the stuff we never even see, but now it makes sense. Especially since we all know that a giant necklace has only been useful once.

I will have many more thoughts and updates once I finish the Dameshek podcast. If the beginning is any indication, it will be amazing. Until then, Mahalo!