I was just coming to make a post to call out all you douchers who don't leave me comments. Are you not entertained? That is especially directed to Yolanda. But then something terrible happened.
Faithful readers, our (or at least my)dream is dead. I slipped up today. And it is all Taco Bell's fault. Here's the story:
I was working late and had to go to the store after I got home. Jessica was also working late and offered to pick up dinner for us. She said she was stopping by Taco Bell and asked what I wanted. I asked for a Baja Blast for obvious reasons. Then I said this: "As Carolla instructed, I....want...to....eat...like....a...man." (As soon as I said instructed, I knew I was toast, hence the pauses, but still finished my thought). It was all because of Adam's commercial. I can't find the offending video, but I assure you it is terrible. I am just feeling a weird combination of shame and confusion right now. I am not exactly sure why it came out or how I have been so guarded for about a month then let the Bell get me.
I think I know how Mike Tyson felt in Tokyo. It may take a couple days to digest what happened, how I lost $1000 bucks and why I was so careless. Maybe I am just not a good gambler. I am sure some of my co-workers can attest to that.
This will not be the last post. I am not sure how often I will post in the future, or how many of you will even notice I'm gone. Hopefully at least a few of you will.
Until then, Mahalo!
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How does one comment a "happy dance"? I'm sure once you figure that one out you will receive numerous comments on this glorious post!
ReplyDeleteTaco Bell, really? I could understand if the demise was Taco Bueno. Perhaps Jess will give you a second chance once she realizes that you are now free to discuss Carolla.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very sad day. I NEED your posts to pull me away and take me to a place that is much needed especially when the medical dictations are highly challenging. Now what do I do for entertainment!! Jess, how bout if you just reduce his prize by $5.00 everytime he mentions Carolla? Just think, it will keep him in check whereas now your risk constant conversation centered around that guy.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I've been eyeing some pretty fabulous shoes. You do bring up a good point though. The censored conversation has been bliss...
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious that your readers are too stunned to comment...or maybe they believe this to be a cruel April Fools joke
ReplyDeletePlease do not mistake my failure to make comments on your blog as apathy,
ReplyDeletelaziness or misconstrue it to mean that your blog has not entertained me. In fact, I have delighted in reading your blog these past 32 days. I prided myself that I read each and every post within hours of it being posted and often checked back to see if there were new posts.
My lack of comments can only be attributed to the fact that I am techno-challenged. I have tried several times to comment on your blog and each attempt was unsuccessful. In fact, after your Duke diss of March 9th I was particularly offended and even more frustrated that I could not leave comments. Therefore, I resorted to commenting on my facebook status in hopes that you would see the comment there. As further evidence of the fact that I am throughly entertained by your
blog, I have voted on almost every poll and also anxiously await the results of the polls to make my own determination as to whether or not there has been voting fraud. I have also read most of the comments and don't think it is fair that Jessica gets to comment on your blog.
Now that I've established that I am entertained by the blog and not a douche, I'd like to address a more important matter.
YOU MUST CONTINUE BLOGGING. I am not even certain that your alleged slip up actually
constitutes a breach of the bet. As the good attorney that you are, I am sure that you can assert a great defense (or offense) that your statement does not fall within the prohibited utterings. One that I can think of is the fact that the statement was allegedly uttered on April Fool's Day....Just
think about that for a while and run with it.
I will sign off for now (as I am sure that this post is the longest in history) and will
continue to fail to comment on your future blog posts that I hope to have the pleasure of reading.