Strange Brew...

I wish I was referring to this Strange Brew. But rather I am referring to the amazing story that Ace told Dameshek at the end of the podcast. Before I get to that, I want to thank the amazing people at the Adam Carolla Messageboard. Someone over there caught wind of this blog and I couldn't be more thrilled. The posters there are hilarious and I was worried they would skewer my blog, but so far so good.

Resident super fan Giovanni called into the show to request Ace tell the Brewing story. Little background on Giovanni: He is the biggest Ace fan ever. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of Carolla stories, used to call the radio show to complain about how terrible the people of Hawaii are and flew from Hawaii to Seattle to watch the Hammer in a theater. Here's the story: It involves Ace's buddy Chris and his ability to pee on others. He somehow could whiz a dozen feet out or 10 feet up. Needless to say, he didn't use his powers for good. His basic technique was to hold his unit, clamp the flow, then uncork while simultaneously throwing his hips forward to propel the urine. The best story involved Ray having to drop a deuce at school and Chris kicking in the stall and telling Ray to "Freeze baby!" Ray was obviously alarmed and begged for mercy, which was not given. Chris unleashed his flow. Ray screamed "My eye." And it only gets better. Ray's revenge was to grab what he just deposited. (seriously: who are these guys. Can you imagine in your wildest dreams one of your buddies threatening to hit you with his deuce?). Chris tried to run and said, "Put that thing down," as he slipped on the tile. Ray drilled him with the poo as he sat on the floor. That is a simply stunning story. I have never even had the guts to upper deck someone's toilet, let alone sling poop at them. For those that don't know, an upper deck involves you removing the lid from a toilet and dropping a deuce in the tank. It is a devious and hilarious act. There was one time that I was in a sauna and thought it would be hilarious to upper deck that. The smell would never come out and I would probably be arrested.

Now that some of the message board people are reading, my next goal is to get the Aceman himself. I always wanted to call the radio show, but never did. I would have relayed this story and question:
I was deposing a young woman who's infant daughter tragically died. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt and had "RACHELLE" (in fancy letters) tattooed on her upper arm. No big deal right? Except on the Petition, her named was spelled "ROCHELLE." I have had cases where the people misspelled the name on the Petition, so I asked. Here's what she said: No, it's spelled Rochelle, but I am tired of people pronouncing "ROW SHELL," when it should be "RA SHELL." So long story short, she misspelled her own name on her arm, on purpose. It is the dumbest thing I have ever heard and don't know that it can be topped. How say you.

I appreciate any suggestions you all might have for our next plan to annoy Jessica.